Merry Merry

I know it has been a long time since my last blog. BAD GIRL! Well here I am, it is December 16th and I should be all Merry Merry, Fa la la la, but I am not truly in the holiday spirit this year. Don't get me wrong I am allowing the positive to shine through, however I am having a harder time doing that this year. I came into work after a wonderful Thanksgiving with my amazing family to find out that I was losing my job. I work for a start up so these things can happen, I was just not expecting it. I think the hardest part was that I truly love where I am working and the people I am working with. It is really daunting thinking about interviewing again and looking to find a place that will be as close to a good fit as I have had in my current position. I know it is possible, it is just all a tad overwhelming right now.

I think though that I am in a good place emotionally to be able to put it all in perspective. There is that old and oh so annoying saying "Everything happens for a reason" and funny enough I truly do believe that. I know that what is happening right now is mean to be, that this is a hurdle I will have to overcome and it could be a time for me to figure it all out.

Stay tuned!

The Joys of Dating

An email like this is what makes dating such a pain in the tosh! After letting a guy I had been on one date with (yes, you heard that right, only one date) know I was not interested or at least not in the level he was, I got this response:

"Ah yes.... Grass is greener syndrome.... Always something better out there... Why date a nice guy in front of you if there is someone better out there... It's a lonely existence because there is ALWAYS someone better. If you are not ready for something serious... Maybe a "friendship" website would be better for you than a "dating" website.... Just saying...

If you are not sure what you want, then why waste your time and guys time and I wish you hadn't wasted mine.

By the way... You drank too much on the first date and you were overly obnoxious by the end of the night at the bar.... I took it as nerves and was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt...
I had fun, but you are too flighty. Best of luck.... I think....
Your loss sweetheart!
:-)"

Wow, talk about all over the place. Let me address a few things in his response. First of all I had exactly two glasses of wine, one with dinner and one at the bar after. Me being obnoxious was my outgoing personality and joking with the bartender. Now most that know me, know that I am a goof, and sometimes a bit off color. I am used to socializing because I sing in a band and am always interacting with people. It is really humorous to me how when someones feelings are hurt they can resort to saying mean things. At least I know that my feelings about him were spot on and that I am lucky it was only one date. Aren't I so lucky that he wanted to "give me the benefit of the doubt". Wow what a charming man! The sad part is if I responded with wanting to go out with him again he would have been more then happy to go out with me again. This is a guy that was texting everyday and would even text 4 times in a row without any response from me. I think perhaps I need to not be so nice and just say. Thank you, but no thank you and move on a lot faster.

Fall into life

It is your choice. Embrace life or constantly be in a battle with it. We are here for a limited amount of time, we never know the day our life might end. That is not meant as a negative, it simply means that we should chose to go the right way with our choices. What is right? No one can tell you what is right for you or how you should feel, however we all know that when it comes to making a choice that there are normally two pretty solid choices. I just want to make the right choice even when it is the hard decision. A friend recently has come to a conclusion that one of her "friends" really isn't one. It is hurtful to find out that someone you cared about has no regard for your feelings and that the energy you had put into that friendship was not and will never be reciprocated. She could lash out nasty or she could be the bigger person and move forward. She is choosing to move forward. That is not always the easiest to do, and I applaud her for it. I am not sure I could do the same thing. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and know that no amount of what we say to someone will change their actions toward us. At the end of the day it is a ride, and we have to enjoy it. It will get us nowhere being miserable. I don't live with no regrets, I have regrets. Having regrets is not a bad thing, I think we learn to move forward and try not to repeat those moments. This is the journey you have been put on and never take it for granted.

Time goes by fast

I know it had been a month since my last blog. I guess time just goes by so fast and there are times I just really do not know what to write on here. I am going through what I think is a great stage. It is a stage that comes with lots of different emotions, which equal some sad days, but overall I am happy, and content and finally getting that working on ME is my number one priority. Learning to fully accept the person I am and knowing that those that are in my life love who I am, even with my quirks although it is not as easy as I thought it would be. It has become my daily goal to feel good about the person I am and what I offer to the world around me. I am learning to focus on what I truly need and not so much what I want. Taking the time to appreciate where I am and know that perhaps the things I have been fighting so badly to have keep me from truly recognizing all the things that I do have. We all hear the cliches that are out there on when you are not looking for something is when it happens. Well I have to agree with that one, because I am always looking and wondering and it keeps me from really embracing the now. The power of my life as it is today. What keeps me from moving forward with true acceptance of the women I have become? These are all daily questions and I am in a mode of self renewal and some really good soul searching. I am trying to learn to be more open, to discover what is out there that I may have overlooked and to just for once ask me what I want in my heart, what will make me feel fully present and aware in my life. I am loving this outlook and it has already made me look at certain things with a new pair of eyes. More to come as I move forward on this path.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

This little guy brings me back to reality and reminds me that I am blessed to have such an amazing, caring and sweet Nephew. I love this little guy with all of my heart! Sometimes I feel like it is going to burst it is so full!

Life moves so quickly sometimes. I look around and friends get married, have children, then you are at there children's first birthday parties. I don't think it really hit me how fast things were moving until my best friend got pregnant, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks when she gave birth to them a few weeks ago. She had twins, and they were early (were not due until late September), so they were little peanuts and they have had to be in the NICU to get the proper care they need. I went to visit them last Sunday and it was so amazing to see how those tiny little bodies curled up on there mom and dads chests. She was blessed with a boy and a girl, so in essence she has the perfect little family. Ronan Kye and Adaira Skye were born on August 16th and Heather and Matt's worlds changed forever. It is amazing to me how two precious babies can completely change your life. To see them with there babies is heartwarming and to hear Matt talking to his daughter is such a beautiful thing. I look at Heather in such a new light. She is a mom now, her priorities completely changed. I miss her a bit right now, I am not going to lie, we can't have our phone conversations every few days like we did before because she is dedicated almost every moment to what is going on with the babies. I am looking forward to heading up there next Friday to stay over and spend sometime with her and the twins. It will be great for her and I to have some time to connect.

I am also not going to say there is not a big part of me that feels left out a tad as I am not anywhere near being a mother myself. However if I look at this in a positive way, I have lots of time to practice and learn from those around me. I sit back and wonder what it will be like someday when I have a child of my own, how I am going to be pregnant and what bringing life into this world will be like. I can only imagine from all those that I have seen that is it something there are not words for.

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"The soul is healed by being with children."

Oh Baby!

My best friend is currently in labor with her first children. She is having twins and I am beside myself giddy and nervous etc. I cannot wait to meet those precious little ones. Of course I will have to wait at least until the weekend as they brought her all the way to Portland, Maine as both hospitals closer to her did not have room in the NICU. So that really stinks, but it is probably best that I give it to the weekend, I am sure it will be nuts for a bit there. But can I just say YAY BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been awhile

Yes, I know it had been awhile since I have blogged. It is funny, I find that I have a lot to say but when I sit in front of this screen sometimes I don't know where to start, and then I stare blankly at the screen, type a few sentences and then delete what I just wrote. It seems that I get writers block because all of the thoughts in my head get all jumbled together and I am not sure what I want to talk about. I know my thoughts jumbled? CRAZY huh! :)

Lately I have been feeling lots of different emotions. Mostly I do feel blessed to have a job that I truly enjoy and to be surrounded by great friends and family. I am not going to lie and say there isn't something missing. I do feel a void of companionship and the longing to share my life with someone. Although it has changed this past few months where I do appreciate being single. It allows me time to become more self aware. I feel I am learning a lot about who I am lately. It is not all good as I am not perfect, but it all helps me to define better who I am and what I need in my life. I know that the outcome of taking the time I need and not just jumping into a relationship because I am lonely is a good thing. I am looking for more this time around. I just want to keep enjoying each day as it comes and being open to what will be. I want to always see my cup as half full and not always be wanting for what I do not have. It will all come in good time and when it is supposed to. I have a full and amazing life, and I am beyond thankful!


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“Eventually all the pieces fall into place….until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.”

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

I normally do not like the clique that is tied to an Oprah quote, but another blogger that I follow had posted this and for some reason today it resonated with me loudly. The right to chose your path.. a very interesting phrase in itself, but then you add on that it is a sacred privilege and that makes it seem all that more of a strong statement. You have the freedom to chose this path in life, the one that you walk along, sure we do not always have control over the things that can deviate us from the path, however we have the choice to follow it. This is amazing to me that we are living in a world where we have the freedom. Not everyone can look at that quote and fully agree or relate with it. There are cultures where you do not have that choice. We live in the United States and are truly blessed to be able to really own the meaning of choice. I love that, and I love this quote today!

Hot days are here

Summer has officially hit, the hot weather the past few days has been crazy, and the sun has been shining. It is here and if we blink we will probably miss it. I went to the beach yesterday with my lovely friend Crystal and it was so nice to be outside and enjoying the weather. I made sure I reapplied sunblock every 30 minutes and only got one tiny area sunburned, I must have missed it or the water washed it away. However I am so proud that my first beach day did not result in a sunburn where I could not move for days. I don't need a tan that bad that I let myself burn. I am looking forward to a full summer. I just love being able to be outside all the time. If I don't enjoy it before I know it we will be knee deep in snow again. Ugh, just the thought kills me. I do love the seasons however so I will take it!

Blue Mood

I don't know where my head is this week. Lots of thoughts are running through my head. I feel kind of stuck in a strange funk. Could it be turning 35 this week that has me in a bit of a mood. I am sure that is part of it. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the past and decisions I have made. I am not having regrets, because I really do believe it is what has made me who I am today. I just feel myself drawn back to certain moments in my life, and people from my past. I am analyzing a lot of how things went and taking time to soul search and perhaps work on how I deal with things and mainly my emotions and reactions when dealing with things. I think we are always evolving who we are and who we want to be. I definitely have been looking into how I process things and also how I deal with certain situations. I am stubborn and that is something I admit fully, although I still have a hard time learning how to not be. I will hold back thoughts and feelings and not express how I feel until it hits a boiling point and that is not healthy. I always thought I was a good communicator, however perhaps we all think we are. I need to focus on making that better moving forward. I am lucky though, I have the ability to look above this funk and know that it will pass. I just have to power through this blue moment and know that I will be better when I come out of it.

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That's one of the peculiar things about bad moods - we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.
David D. Burns

Words

I want to write words. Words that make people think, smile, laugh. Words that engage people in conversations that they normally would not have had. Words that allow people to grow and see a side of themselves they never have before. Words that inspire and fill peoples hearts with joy. Words that allow people to cry happy tears. I don't want to engage in negative words, I do not want to hurt people with words, or use words to make them feel less then who they truly are. Words should teach us, lead us and bring us to a place of peace. I want to love the words that I put out into this world and hope that those words come back to me in love. Words are powerful and I want to use them in a positive way. I want words to heal me, teach me patience and allow me to be a better part of what makes this world turn.

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Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
~ Buddha

Take these

Take these beautiful memories
use them when days are dark and you feel like you can't breathe
Take this laughter
release it when you can't seem to find yours

Remember the music
When the silence in your heart is deafening
Believe in tomorrow
When today is just to much to bare

Listen to the wind
It is a reminder that everything will pass someday

~ TF

Perfection

"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.

Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."

— Bob Marley

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I saw this on another blog I follow and I found it so utterly true and even though it is something that logically makes sense and is obvious it is nice to read as a reminder. I am not in love right now, nor am even I close to being in love, but I want to always remember when I do find a beautiful soul to give my love to that there is no perfect person. I like to say that I want to find a man that finds perfection in my imperfections. There is something to what my Nana always told me when she spoke of unconditional love and that in that lies the secret to being able to be with someone and give yourself completely. I don't want to change the man I love someday, I want to celebrate our differences and adore each other in spite of the things that are not always so great. Isn't there something to be said for being with someone that makes you want to be better, but loves you right where you are?

Be Happy

"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed."

As she looked at the rain falling outside, she wished for the sun. The way it would sneak in and flood her bedroom with natural light in the morning. It did not matter if her blinds were closed, it always found a way to gently touch the room. The way that no matter how she felt in her heart, when she walked into that light it would make her feel alive. Something about the way it touched her face allowed her to breathe deeper, to embrace the day and whatever was going to come her way. The simplicity of a sunny day, there would never be anything that amazed her more. However on the rainy days she is also reminded of how we sometimes need the rain to make things new. That the rain was there to clean things off, so that when the sun did shine again we would realize the beauty once again. Sometimes all we need is a quick thunderstorm to usher in and other times it takes a three day rainstorm. However when it passes we feel renewed and ready to conquer all that comes are way. She smiled and walked out into the rain and splashed in the puddles knowing that the sun always shines again.

Be yourself

Oh how I love Dr. Suess. Little did I know when loving his books as a child I would realize just how much wisdom he had!

Raindrops keep fallin...

"Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain."
~ Billie Holiday

It's Monday again

Its funny how Monday mornings sneak up on us. Although I am actually glad to be working as the weather is really cruddy lately. I have to say that I had a wonderful weekend. I just feel so great about life and about the decisions I have made over the last month. I feel stronger then ever, but I have also refocused on the positive, and really am leaving the past behind me. I feel alive, free, and energized for the days ahead. I have a bright outlook on life, and I am so thankful for the friends and family in my life that always remind me of what is important. Mostly I am grateful for the love they provide me. Even though it is gloomy out I find myself smiling for no reason and truly overwhelmed with happiness.

Guess what?

It's FRIDAY! Whoop!

Everything

I stole this from another blog I read and under it was simply posted "Because it is". This resonated with me today, so I wanted to post it on my blog. Everything will be okay. Life is a neverending journey! Enjoy the ride.

Slowing down

PHEW! It has been a crazy few weeks full of good times and some not so fun times in my life. However it all has a positive spin so we will focus on that. My baby brother got married on May 1st! It was a weekend full of new traditions and old. My brother married a wonderful woman who's family is from India, so we got to be a little immersed in that culture throughout the weekend. I even got to wear a sari, and I have to say I have never felt more beautiful. It was so amazing to see how tender my brothers heart is and to see how deeply in love he and his beautiful bride are. I can only wish to have a love like that someday. It was so nice to celebrate the journey they have taken together with all of my loved ones. I will remember that weekend always!
I also moved into my new apartment this past Saturday and I am slowly making it my own. I just wish the genie that unpacks boxes would hurry up and get there! I also recorded on my phone a blog that I will post once I have Internet set up there. I got my iPhone recorder and turned it on and while sitting on the floor of my new living room the day before I moved, just me and a beer, I recorded how I was feeling in that moment. I think I need to do that more. I find I can express myself better when I can just talk freely.
This journey over the last 3 weeks has been interesting, painful, eye opening and liberating all at once. I am where I am for a reason, I wish I did not have to go through this, but it has made me stronger and I feel confident about my path and the future. I need to take responsibility for the choices I made, learn from them and be a better person because of them.

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If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
~ Maya Angelou

Roller Coaster

I have been wanting to blog since my last entry and just have felt at a loss. It is not that I don't know what to say it is more my feelings are constantly changing lately. I guess I can start with I am looking forward to my move on Saturday. Bittersweet as it is, it is moving on and starting over and that is never a bad thing. I posted a quote on my facebook page yesterday: “I can be changed by what happens to me. but I refuse to be reduced by it.” It is a great quote by one of my favorite writers/poets Maya Angelou. It truly speaks volumnes to how I feel right now. You are changed by what happens to you in life, the good and the bad. However it is what we do with that change that matters. How am I feeling today? Well I guess there is not one emotion I am feeling, they are all entertwined. So I won't list them but I will merely say that I am holding onto the positive ones and trying to let the negative feelings fall away. I cannot look back and think about the 'what ifs', I simply need to move forward to the 'what will be's'. Hang on to the old cliche that everything happens for a reason and take each day as it comes. I want to embrace where I am going, nothing in life is a failure, it is a lesson learned.

The process of healing

Sometimes things just don't work. Now comes the process of healing. I truly did not expect to be feeling this good and this hopeful, but it seems life had other plans for me. This has all been a blessing to me. I am hopeful that the direction of my life is where it should be. Taking chances in life is not a bad thing, I have no regrets. I look at every moment in my life as a precious opportunity to learn more about who I am and what I am looking for in life. It is growth that is needed, even though not always welcomed. I said to someone the other day that you need the rain to truly enjoy the sunshine. I believe that will all of my heart. It is these moments in my life that I find open my eyes to so many other things I may not have seen. This journey I have been on has been a gift and I will learn from it, not hold it as a negative memory in my heart, but as a moment of my life that needed to happen.

Long sigh and a deep breath

It has been a long and not so fun few days for me. There are things going on, in my life and in my mind, and mostly in my heart that have me sad, confused, hopeful, scared and a whole myriad of other emotions. It has my mind playing out many different scenarios and trying to decide what is the best path to take. It is also during these times in my life that I dream crazy dreams, about packing it all up and moving to a small village in Italy (lets keep in mind I don't even speak Italian), or working on a cruise ship, singing in one of there over the top corny shows while men in funny Hawaiian shirts dances around with his wife. It makes me go back over the past 10/20 years and think about all the decisions that I have made. It has me closing my eyes so tight and hoping that if I click my heels I can be back in my Nana's living room, writing poetry and talking about life. What would she say to me right now if she was here, what would her advice be. Would she tell me what to do or simply speak some words of wisdom that would not make sense to me at the time but would be exactly what I needed to hear when I look back. I think there will always be moments in my life where I wish I had the ruby slippers that magically brought be home. Home - a funny word, it is one that I hope someday means what it did to me back then.

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"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned" Maya Angelou

Small reminders

I was riding home on the MBTA Sunday morning from a Saturday bachelorette bash for my soon to be sister-in-law and due to a situation on the train had to change cars. I was tired and found the whole thing irritating after a semi sleepless night. However a few stops later when the gentlemen that was seated directly across from me got up, I noticed there was a sticker on the seat. Upon further inspection I noticed that the sticker said "Fall in love all over again". Wow, such a simple statement, but I think I needed to hear that. I was tired, cranky, had a long night and had been dealing with some thoughts going around and around in my head. Seeing that sticker and knowing that someone purposely put it there made me stop and really think about some things. What a simple phrase yet it carried such an amazing message. I thought there must have been a reason I had to move cars and that I sat in that seat. I think we all need a reminder from time to time to fall in love all over again. Yesterday was mine.

Its official!

I dislike corned beef. I was clear that I did not like cabbage boiled. I do however like a fresh homemade coleslaw or a nice Kimchi, but a boiled dinner is just not for this Irish girl. I do get an A for effort here as I did promise D I would try it again. My mother finds it hysterical since apparently as a child I would eat it all the time. Anyway, I will not be trying that again ever. At 34 I am pretty sure I am not going to ever enjoy it. Luckily my mother defrosted a burger. So I enjoyed my lovely burger with potatoes and carrots! Surprisingly they went very well together! Of course I did have a lovely Guinness as well! MMMmmm it was very tasty. So next year I will stick to foods I like, if D wants a boiled dinner we are going out, I know I could not stomach the smell of cabbage boiling. The thought of it actually turns my tummy right now. I hope everyone had a wonderful Saint Patrick's day.

Saint Paddy's Day

May the good earth be soft under you
when you rest upon it,
and may it rest easy over you when,
at the last, you lay out under it,
And may it rest so lightly over you
that your soul may be out
from under it quickly,
and up, and off,
And be on its way to God.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time I believed I had it all figured out, that I knew where my life was going to lead and that by the age of 34, I would already have had the career I always wanted, the amazing (and dashingly handsome) husband, 2 adorable children and a wonderful house overlooking the ocean. I dreamed all of these things in my head, I was (okay I still am a bit) a hopeless romantic. I believed that all people had some good in them no matter how horrid they seemed on the outside. I didn't fear life and what was ahead of me because I thought I had complete control over it. Lets be fair, I am an adult now and I do have control over some things in my life. But sadly unfortunately I still think like a hopeless romantic, and I still dream (even in the daytime) and this leads to me making quick decisions and jumping head first off the pier when sometimes I should just enjoy the view. I find that I get all excited about things and I take off, only to realize to my surprise horror that perhaps I moved to fast in the wrong direction. I guess you could relate it to adding the wrong ingredients to a recipe first and then realizing after the fact that without preparing the recipe the way instructed you ended up with a complete mess on your hands, or at least a recipe that does not taste the way you thought it would. I am not saying that sometimes my moments of making insane rash decisions had not led to some wonderful moments in my life, however most some have left me wondering why I do the things I do. I am a very independent, confident women and have gotten to a place where I am content with who I am. Sure, we all have the normal things we want to change (like the 20 pounds I want to lose), but for the most part I have found peace with the women I have grown into. I know that we will make mistakes in life and take chances that don't always work out the way you thought they would. I just hope that one day I will learn sometimes when you jump, you fall down and go boom. My journey of life has many more chapters left and I like to think those pages will be filled with glorious memories and immeasurable laughter and happy tears, however I know that there will be the chapters I would rather skip right past. I guess my point in this babbling blog is that I see now that sometimes my stubborn nature along with my fairytale thoughts can lead me to make decisions before I truly should be making them. You live and learn, over and over again! At the end of the day we can only make lemonade and continue forward.

Love

Its Valentines day, and to me it is just a reminder of all the people I have in my life that love me. I am very lucky and extremely blessed for all I have. I am also equally blessed to see my mother happy and in love. There is nothing like hearing about her romantic date with her guy to make me smile! My mother has been a light in my life and to finally see her getting all that she deserves makes me unbelievably happy.

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“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

We tweet therefore we are

I started with the Farland Group in Cambridge (www.farlandgroup.com)in October of last year and have been on this journey of recognizing just how important social media has become in our world. Twitter is newer to me and honestly I never truly understood the power of it until I took on this position. It truly is a way to share knowledge, stay connected, and to network in a way that is a lot, for lack of a better word, cleaner then Facebook. I am slowly getting my feet wet and learning what to tweet, and/or retweet. It is this magical land of people sharing links to great articles, new restaurants or there old favorites. It can be something as simple as a comment on the day, or a hello, to someone networking looking for a new job. Really there does not seem to be anything that you can not tweet about. I sometimes find the character length to be annoying, however it keeps those of us (ahem) that tend to ramble on a short leash, and teaches us to perhaps learn how to simplify the way we express a thought. I am finding it a tad intimidating, however I am tiptoeing around and peeping in on what my peers are talking about, and hope to catch on rather quickly. If you are a fellow tweeter look me up TFitz_76. Tweet you later :)

Happy New Year 2011

Another New Year has ushered in. I truly enjoyed my holidays this year, I did not stress about things or worry about where I was going, or who I was seeing. I just allowed myself to enjoy it. If people stole a parking spot or cut me off, I just let it go. I mean it really will do me no good to get upset about it. The holidays tend to cause people to get a little wacky and I just went on my merry way and allowed them to stew in there insanity. I still have my tree up. I am one of those that keep the decorations up through what is called "little Christmas" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Christmas My mother is from Ireland and we always kept our tree up until January 6th. Honestly, and I can not believe I am going to admit this, but I would love to keep my tree up year round. It makes me happy, and makes me smile, and to be truthful I am sure it would get me through a dark and dreary winter alot easier. However it will come down this weekend and go back to hibernation until the holidays are once again upon us.
What are my hopes for the new year? I just hope to continue to count my blessings, to share my life with people that love and care for me and to be as good of a person every day as I can be. Really what more can you ask for in life. Wake up each day and embrace it! We only have one life so we should seize it and live it to the fullest. This year I will chose to do what makes me happy and not always worry about what others around me are thinking. Have a GREAT start to 2011 friends.