Thanksgiving

What a wonderful day with family! My brother surprising my mom was awesome and made me so happy to see her smile like that. It was a truly relaxing day full of laughs and catching up on life. I am thankful this year for wonderful family and amazing friends that make life so joyful. I am blessed to have a job, a place to live and so much to be grateful for. I will remember this time of year and always to keep in mind those that do not have all that I do. This is the time of year we notice the less fortunate more then ever. Lets try and be mindful of the world around us as we thank God for all that we have, may we also ask he be there for those that are not as blessed.

And it happened..

Death came knocking at her door. Today was the day she had been dreading for the last 6 months. She tried to tell herself it wouldn't happen, but she knew that unless some miracle happened that she would be staring death right in the face. Her heart raced knowing that from this moment on her life would change. Yes, it is true that the last 6 months her life had changed in more ways then she ever thought possible, but she knew that the finality of it all would be something that would affect her very core. The fear, anxiety and sadness all seemed to mix together and she felt like a switch, with her mood changing on a daily basis. Seeing her Nana dwindle was the hardest part of all of this. Once full of life and more energy then she sometimes had, her Nana always kept her guessing and was full of sweet surprises. To say she was inspiring would be an understatement, as the affects of the years we spent together are still present in my everyday life. But today, as she saw the laughing faces of family around the table that had seen so many womderful moments, she knew that only a floor away, her Nana was losing the battle. Of course Nana was going to be at peace, and most of all she was going to be with God. To her there was not better joy in death then to be with her maker. Her heart was true to her faith in ways that to this day amaze me. Even with her passing imminent her spirit was full. We all held hands as I heard the sound of her devotional CD in the background, my grandfather so gently touching her cheek, the love in his eyes more powerful then I have ever seen. Those moments seemed to pass so slowly. Hearing the words "she has passed on" and the sounds of our voices as we prayed the Our Father together as a family. Then the most beautiful combination of voices as we sang Amazing Grace as the matriarch or our beloved family finally was no longer in pain.

Peace

I had such a wonderful weekend. It started out with dinner with a really wonderful person and then off to North Conway with my best friend Heather on Saturday AM. We stayed Saturday night at the most beautiful place I have seen in a long time. The Mount Washington Hotel, it was so peaceful and beautiful up there, and seeing Mount Washington from the amazing wrap around porch was breathtaking. We sat on the couch in the gigantic lobby and had hot cider and chocolate chip cookies. It was the rest and relaxation I needed. I told Heather I definitely could get used to it. I had always wanted to stay there and it definitely lived up to the expectations and then some, all weekend I kept saying that I could not believe how beautiful it was. I want to get back there for a long weekend soon! Maybe next time I can take advantage of how romantic it really is :).

I had a deep tissue massage on Sunday which I desparately needed due to my back spasms. I think I am not sold on massages. It was really amazing. I am so glad I went. It was also great time to really connect with Heather. We don't always get good quality time together, so it was nice. Her husband was lovely to lend her to me! :)

Some pictures below:







I definitely needed to get away and regroup. It felt really nice to just be up there with the views and the fresh air. I love taking time to just enjoy what is around me, and you don't always get that with the day to day rush of life. I am thankful for those moments, becuase they really bring me back to what is important.

Turn off the TV

Okay, I am blogging about this so people can hold me accountable. Next week from Monday through Friday I will not be watching TV at night. The only time I will be allowed to watch TV is when I am on my eliptical working out. I want to try and do other things for myself that are more beneficial then watching TV. I want to work out, learn to play the guitar and work on commercials for my voiceover demos. I think I waste too much time watching TV, and I want to change that. So start Monday November 2nd I will not watch TV unless I am working out.

I will blog about what I have accomplished since I decided to not watch TV at night. Even if it is just a night reading a book, or writing. I will let you know how I spend my time.

I am always going to be challenging myself to eat healthier as well. I am in the process of trying to give up red meat. I am hoping to eventually give up all meat and just eat fish, however it is a slow process, and I want to do babysteps. I am trying to make a few different lifestyle changes that will make me healthier mind, body and soul.

If you want to join me on this challenge, please let me know.

Decisions

Life is about decisions, sometimes we make the right ones, sometimes we make the wrong ones, however we need to own them. I have a hard time even when I feel it is right making the tough decisions in my life. There are so many things bouncing around in my head. I sometimes prevent making some decisions because I feel unsure. I know though if I listen to my heart and if I feel I am waivering then I probably know truly what I need to do.

I have to make a few decisions in my life over the next 6 months. Some of them will be a big change, and I am still deciding what that change will be and where it will lead me. I feel pulled at this point in my life to make some moves that I have wanted to for years and have feared doing. I want to step outside of my box a bit and feel a little unsafe. I know that in the long run my decision will be the best for me. If it isn't then I will know sooner then later and at least I will have learned something from it.

Time for me to take smoe chances.