Summertime

Summertime always brings a smile to my face. Something about feeling the warmth on your shoulders, watching kids play in the ocean, hearing people enjoying life. It seems that the moment the winter fades we all come out of our cocoon like state and enter the world again.


The little things make me smile:


Seeing the church from my living room window erupt with weddings, people starting there lives together.


The dogs playing on the grass and knowing that there owners are just glad it is a temperature that does not require a jacket.


I love just being able to put my shades up and have the sun come through, it just makes everything that might be bothering me at the time go away. It opens my eyes to new beginnings, change.


I always imagined what it would be like to live outside of New England and how I would deal with the seasons not changing. I just can not even think of what that might be like. The first snowfall always seems so magical, and there is something so amazing about watching the first flowers bloom. The smell of the cherry blossoms as you walk down the street, it almost seems to follow you.


I just think we are blessed to have these seasons, and that for all of us they have different meanings and some hold very powerful memories for us. Some remember the flowers on there wedding day and how they seemed to be so full of life, while others remember having to say goodbye to a loved one and walking out to see the sun peek through the clouds knowing there is something bigger then us that brings the peace we need.


I would have to say though that the one thing I really love about the seasons it that the moment we start to take it for granted it is already changing and surprising us.

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Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. ~Henry James

Learning to be silent (inspired by 10 minutes)

I think today I learned a valuable lesson on silence. Not the type of silence you may think though. I do not mean not knowing when to talk, but knowing what to talk about and for how long.

I have never been one to hold back feelings or emotions, however I think I am learning more that I need to remember that sometimes it can be too much too soon. Taking a step back and knowing that I do not need to know all the answers in one moment, that sometimes the great part of language is the words that are unspoken, the mystery in not knowing it all right away.

Silence can be a gift, a moment that you take the time to not say what you are thinking, and to trust that the answer to that unspoken thought will come eventually.

Thank you Mr. 10 minutes, you made me think alot tonight, and in those thoughts I came to an answer I never even thought was there.

I went from someone who thought saying it all in one moment was a good thing, to realizing that there is a sweetness in the mystery of it all, that those little moments and quiet times where you dont know what someone is thinking can actually be nice and a wonderful, comfortable silence.


“There are times when silence has the loudest voice”
~ Leroy Brownlow

Birthdays and thoughts and a quote, oh my

Who am I you ask?

I am 32 (ugh) as of Saturday the 21st of June, and I feel fabulous. The night was full of eggs flying in the air, and shrimp tails being thrown at me (we went to a Japanese Steakhouse) and then amazing vocal styling happened in the ever so wonderful and cheezy lounge downstairs, that would not have been complete without the typical man in his 50's singing Frank Sinatra and dancing with me. Good times were had by all. Age is just what they say, merely a number, most days I feel 5 and still love to go to the park and swing like I am going to fly into the clouds.

I work at a consulting firm in Boston with wonderful people, I also sing in a Rock cover band off the south shore called "Too Loud" and I absolutely love it

Some things I love and random thoughts:
Music and singing: The power of music still amazes me and makes me feel alive. When I am performing with my band it makes any other worry on my mind just melt away

My nephews laughter: brings such a peace to my soul

My family: I cherish them more now that I know the sacrifices my mother made and how far all of us have come in life.

My cats Ella and Elvis: they have a way of making my day, whether it is a snuggle on the couch or a lick on the nose, they make my cares float away

The feeling of cool grass on my feet in the spring/summertime

The smell of the air after a midday thunderstorm

The end of a soft serve cone, when the ice cream is in the crevices on the bottom. MMMmm

The ocean and its constant ability to bring me right back to my core and allow me to feel at ease about this journey we are on.

The memory of my Nana and how soft the skin on her cheek felt when she hugged me hello, and the way she would laugh at my ramblings and always encourage me to sing and make music.

On the train, when I have my ipod on shuffle and a song I have not heard in weeks pops on and it just happens to relate to something I am thinking of or dealing with at that moment.

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I have found that with my old age and craziness also comes even more of an appreciation for the simple things, the things that we take for granted when our mind is spinning out of control. These simple things vary from time to time, however the nakedness of what truly makes us happy and feeds us on a daily basis are the things that don't cost money, and are easily accessible at all times.

I will leave you now with this:

“Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.”

Okay.. So, my birthday happened and I am OK with it! :)

32.. yes I am 32, today is my second full day of being 32. I would have to say that I still sometimes feel 18, and act 5. Age is as they say, is just a number, however it is that one time of year you reflect on your life. I actually feel that for the first time I am not stressed about my future. I am content, happy, and actually like just living each day and seeing where it takes me. I feel relaxed about it all. I am complete, of course I would love to share this with someone, but that all comes in time and when it does come I know that I will be ready for it for the first time in my life. I think I never truly understood that you had to be whole as a person before you could really give yourself to someone else. That was something I always heard however I thought, well that is silly, we never really feel complete, and I guess to some extent that is true. But you can feel whole even when you have more you want to accomplish or things that you want to work on. Anyway, the point to all this rambling today is that I really feel good about today, and this moment I am in. It is refreshing, and a really peaceful place to be.

This year ahead will only allow me to understand myself even better with each victory and defeat, and with the happiness it will bring and the sadness. I know this is the time to enjoy, the journey is what is it l about after all.

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

This picture just makes me smile!

Seriously, how cute is the little man with his daddy. Isaac is getting so big. My sister took this on a walk with her hubby Brian. He is just getting so big.

Lyrics that stood out to me today

Being the singer I am and always relating to lyrics there are times on the train to and from work that certain lyrics hit me. Today it was this song by Carrie Underwood. Reminds me that sometimes we are always looking for something that might already be there. We chase what we think we want, only to look back and see what we had. Life is funny that way, although it is all in the bumps in this journey, and sometimes looking back makes us realize just how lucky we are. I know it seems to relate more to relationships, but I was looking at it as a bigger picture. So perhaps today I will assess my life and see all the blessings I do have and realize it is closer then I think it is.


You Won't find this

Did you check the tires
Put gas in the car
Don't think you need to much,
'cause you ain't gonna get that far
Did you pack the good times
Don't forget a map
Just in case the route you take
isn't there to take you back

You can hold any girl that you like
Fall in love when it's easy at night
But, you'll wake up wondering
why she ain't ever something better
When you're lost and run out of road
Find what I already know
In the end closer's all there is
But you won't find this
No, you won't find this

There's once in a lifetime
And there's once in a while
And the difference between the two
is about a million miles
Oh, you might get lucky
while the moon is looking up
But in the truth of the morning,
the stars will be long gone

You can hold any girl that you like
Fall in love when it's easy at night
But, you'll wake up wondering why
she ain't ever something better
When you're lost and run out of road
Find what I already know
In the end closer's all there is
But you won't find this

Happy Monday!

Hey all!

Just wanted to say Happy Monday!

Leave you with this Walt Whitman passage:

Whoever you are, I fear you are walking the walks of dreams,I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your feet and hands,Even now your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners, troubles, follies, costume, crimes, dissipate away from you,Your true soul and body appear before me,They stand forth out of affairs, out of commerce, shops, work, farms, clothes, the house, buying, selling, eating, drinking, suffering, dying.Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem,I whisper with my lips close to your ear,I have loved many women and men, but I love none better than you.

The Weekend is upon us!

Ah yes my friends. It is the weekend! And turning out to be a beautiful one weather wise.

On tap for Miss Tara this weekend:

Dinner with my sister and mom! She will be 60 on Sunday (my mom, not my sister :). Saturday will be spent at a BBQ for my friends adorable little girl Kailey. Sunday will bring some brunch, some Mary Kay, and more celebrating my mothers big birthday. Overall, a lovely weekend spent with family and friends that always make me smile!

This week was a busy one. I had my last Improv class. What a blast that was and I am entertaining the idea of taking more classes at the Improv Boston. Improv really challenges you to think outside the box and to not over think. It is hard when all day you are in thinking mode. To be able to just let it go and say the first thing on your mind is a task I thought was a lot easier. I recommend it to anyone who wants to be taken out of your comfort zone.

um.. yeah.. so I think that is all I have to say. I am beyond exhausted from a Red Sox game last night, followed by having to stay up and watch the celtics.

Have a GREAT weekend people :)

Beer, Hot dogs and Baseball!

Weather in the 70's, sun shining, and Red Sox tickets in hand. Tell me.. does it get any better? Nuff said!

"No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined." ~Paul Gallico

Heat and Birthdays and more Heat.. Oh My

It is so odd to have this kind of heat in early June. I just hope it is not setting us up for a really hot summer. I love the sun, and I love the heat. But humidity kills me and if I can not be outside because it is too hot it really annoys me. But I can not complain, we have not seen any rain and seeing the sun shine always makes me happy!

So I am a bit anxious lately. Not really sure where it is coming from, possibly from many different directions, however I am sure it has everything to do with June 21st. I will be 32 in exactly 11 days. Ugh, even typing that made my chest feel tight. Why does this happen? I am better now in my life then I ever have been. I am confident in who I am becoming. I guess it has to do with where I thought I would be at 32. Perhaps I would already have been married and had a few rug rats running around, possibly be a soccer mom (no minivan though). Am I disappointed with where I am? I would say that I am not, I think my path has been just the way it was meant to be. I also think not having those things yet is actually a great thing. I think that I will be a better wife and mother when that day comes based on the things I have went through in life.

Perhaps it is making me anxious as well because I have come to some personal realizations. None that I want to get into on a public forum such as this. However lets just say that it makes me realize that I need to not try so hard to be accepted, that the ones that really care for me accept me just as I am. That the person I portray sometimes is not who I really am, and it is me trying to cover up for my insecurities. I want to be true to me, and let the vulnerable side be there, not let it scare me so much. I guess letting go sometimes means that we can not be who we think we should be, that we need to nurture and feed the person we are, faults and all. We are not perfect, I am definitely not perfect. I want to be me, even with the yucky stuff we all carry from our past. However knowing that tomorrow is a new day, we need to own our past and create a new day. There is not reason to bring what happened before to the now. We learned from everything and it is what makes up who we are now.

Anyway, yes, I do continue to babble. However at the end of the day, I just hope that I am making the best decisions for me. I want to look back on it all as a wonderful journey, full of silly mistakes, and amazing blessings.

I don't want to ever take this life I have for granted. The friends and family that I have had in my life for 32 years. The people that make me stronger just for knowing them. There are so many things I am thankful for as I look toward another year. Mostly I am just thankful to be here, so be able to be a player in this world.

Yucky Yucky Blah Blah Poo!

Ha! yes, that is how I feel today. The weather is just icky poo, and I have to walk over to Improv class. However I would have to say that at least (hopefully) I will be laughing once I get there. If not it means my instructor is BAD! :)

It all started with waking up late because I shut my alarm off and fell back to sleep, and then I just could not get it together to get out the door, and I am all womanly today (you know what THAT means), and trying to eat healthy with all this working out. Well dammit I just want CHOCOLATE!

Today is a go back under the covers day and wait til tomorrow!

but.. alas, life continues when you are feeling icky blickity!

So.. I charge ahead. Because my friends.. This too shall pass! :)

On a cheery note.. it IS Wednesday and that means the weekend is right around the corner.. Ya Hoooooooooo

Applying Make up while driving?!

Okay so today on my merry way to work *imagine me humming a tune*. I am backed up on the on ramp to Route 3 per normal, and what do I see, well behind me the lady was applying her make up.

I always look at these people and wonder, what made them think that was a good idea? Who says, well instead of waking up 5 minutes earlier, I will just apply my make up in the car. Really? Do you think that is smart. Especially if you are behind me?

So I am watching her through my rear view mirror, and there she goes, applying foundation, oh.. and then it was time for powder. Lovely. Then she applies her blush. The whole thing fascinates me.

Lets be real people, if I applied my make up while driving, I would probably look like this:



Some people might find that to be an improvement. *note - I would totally rock that hat*

Or, in another scenario I would end up like this:

So please, take the time to set your alarm for earlier and do your make up, or do it at work. Save me the aggravation that it would take to get out of my car when you rear end me. If you are really that lazy, why not try that make up tattooing, might do you and the world a favor ;)

Be safe silly people!