My thoughts as the new year approaches

This year has been a trying one with many bumps in the road for me. I am stronger because of it, however I am definitely looking forward to the new year and what it brings. The idea of what could be gets me excited and makes me want to jump right into 2010. Bring it on, I am ready for the challenges and most of all for the happy times, I hope this year brings more laugh lines then I can handle. I am prepared for an amazing year!

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"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."

~ Sir Winston Churchill

Some things that make me happy

Waking up to my cat Ella giving me morning kisses.

Listening to my favorite Christmas songs.

Seeing the Christmas lights on the houses as I drive home at night.

The look on a childs face when they see something that amazes them and they can not contain there excitement.

a warm blanket on a cold night.

a big hug.

The sound of the rain on the roof.

My family and the constant love and support they show me on a daily basis.

My Nephew when he says Auntie Tawa - he can and does make everday of my life worth living, love that little man.

Holding a microphone and singing, fills my heart with ridiculous joy.

The quiet first thing in the morning before the day starts, it is still in the winter, and in the spring you can hear the sounds of the birds.

The feeling of the grass under my feet in the summer, it always feels so cool.

Laughter of any kind. It is contagious and we should hear more of it in our lives.

Long hot baths with a big glass of red wine.

Fresh flowers that brighten a whole room.

Hearing an awesome song that I can sing to at the top of my lungs come on the radio after a really long day!

to be cont.

Trust

Trust is a concept I used to be really great at. I would trust someone right away and not question. I now have reached the other end of the spectrum where I do not trust at all right away. I am learning that you need to put a little trust in someone or something, but also keep a clear head about it all. No one and no thing in your life is perfect, life and the people around you will let you down. That is reality. However I am learning to try and not let it all sour me to the person that I am. I am naturally a person that follows my heart, and I will do that continually throughout the course of my life. However I am also learning that I need to be more aware of my life and know when to put a hold on that trust in certain situations. It is a learning curve I think we all go through over and over again in life. It is not a bad thing, and I just need to find a certain balance with it all. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is part of what makes me who I am, and for that I am thankful. Life is short, I want to constantly embrace the moments. Some will make me laugh, some cry, but at the end of my amazing life, they will all be the things that made me who I am. In the words of one of my favorite poets Maya Angelou:

I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

It was raining

But.. she still ran over and kissed him like it was her last first kiss...

The only way to really know...

is to really let it go..

Let it all go, worries, stress, becuase at the end of the day it is all so small. This time of year really brings to my mind how selfish I can be. When I am brought to the reality that I have more then most people and should be thankful for it all and not always be wanting more. The simple things are what matters. I need to be more focused on those around me that are not as fortunate. I used to volunteer alot and now I find that I don't as much as I want. I give to the poor and goodwill, etc, however I really need to get back to volunteering my time again. That is my New Years resolution this year, to give back more. To be more selfless and more socially aware. To be the solution and not just another person that pretends to not see.

And then there was one...

It happened, this past Thanksgiving weekend, my brother surprised us all by proposing to his girlfriend. Sreela is so lovely and we all adore her, so this was fantastic news. However it did make me pout a bit as I am older and still have not found my life partner. I am not worried though, nor do I have any sense of urgency there. I understand timing in life is everything, and there is someone so special out there for me that it is worth the wait. Finding someone that can be a part of my crazy life and me be a part of theirs is going to be truly amazing. I see so many unhealthy relationships around me and I know that marriage is hard. I almost married the wrong man, and it would have ended in divorce. I am older and smarter now and know what it truly takes to make a relationship work. I don't need a man to make my life complete, I have a complete life. I want to have someone to share it with. A person that just adds to what I already have going on. Someone that brings something different to the table, that I can learn from as well as them learning from me.

All of this brings me to my new theme song. Yes, my Ally McBeal moments still happen.

Haven't met you yet: Michael Buble

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet