New Year

Happy New Year to everyone.

Wow, is it really going to be 2009? Seriously! I think that is crazy. It is so funny that the older we get the faster the years go by. I am looking forward to a new year.

I can't believe that I have lived in my apartment now for over a year now. Life changes and moves so fast. Sometimes I just want to say, "hey, slow down". It reminds me of when I was a kid at the playground. Do you remember that one thing that you could spin and kids could be on it? Well we used to all try and get on when it was spinning, and sometimes it was going so fast it was hard. I feel that is how life is, it is spinning so fast and we are all on for the ride, sometimes we get off and then find it hard to get back on. I just sometimes think we are all in such a fast pace that we need to learn to step back a bit. I definitely think I have really gotten better over the past few months at learning to breath. I recognize more the things that I do that are not healthy and then also know the way to fix it. That is an acheivement I think. I learned that letting go is a great thing, and sometimes it leads to answers you were looking for all along.

I have also been taught many hard lessons this year, and all have made me stronger and more aware. Friendships tested, that has caused hurt and pain, but also brought a realization that things do come full circle and everything has resolution if you are open to it. Learning that people can not be what you want them to be, but we need to instead love and be steadfast in that love. See Love is a choice, it is something that we do becuase we want to. Loving other people also means doing it unconditionaly. That is something we all tend to forget. It does mean that you are open to hurt and disappointment, however, I would rather love and risk it. Our family, friends, Significant others are all going to hurt us, we are human, it is in our nature. All we can do is learn that forgiveness is also a choice and know that if the shoe were on the other foot we would want to be forgiven also.

I pray that 2009 makes me an even better women. That I can be the kind of person that I will want my children to be someday. I want to love more and even better, I want to forgive more. Let this year be a year full of laughter and joy for all of my family and friends.

Know that I love you all, and that the one thing to remember always is that tomorrow is a new day, and there are not mistakes in it.

Merry Merry, Happy Happy, Jingle all the way

Oh my lovelies!

It is Christmas time again, and how did this sneak up on me. I love this season. I was talking to someone the other day though and this year definitely has a different feel to it. I think becuase the economy is so bad that it just feels like people are learning that less is more and that it is not about giving and receiving presents. I feel that more people are realizing that this time of year is about family and friends, and seeing that it is the simple things that matter. The time we spend together is more precious then anything we can give or get as a present.

This year I am so thankful for the love in my life. My sister is a wonderful mother to my nephew who never ceases to amaze me with that little smile of his and the older I get is not only a sister but a friend. Her husband who has been a blessing on my sister and our family and is one of the best fathers I have seen. My brother who courageously walks through life and takes new challenges on. My mother who has her ups and downs, but really at the end of the day loves us more then we could ever imagine, and is my best friend. Matt who has been a wonderful surprise in my life and makes me want to be an even better person. Of course I can not leave out my dad, we may not have the greatest relationship and it may never be great, but I do love him, and I pray for him everyday.

This year, instead of the money we spend, lets dedicate this next year to spending more time with those we love. Make the time to say the things you always forget to say. Remember that a hug and a smile go a long way. Also remember that "I love you" are the most powerful words out there, so tell your family. It never gets old, and always fills a heart.

What does it all mean?

Some days that is a question that revolves around everything in our lives. This has been a year of so many changes, and as the new year approaches I definitely think about it all and try to make sense of most, if not all of it. This is not such an easy tasks.

I feel in some areas of my life I have come full circle. I feel better in my own skin then I think I have in a very very long time. I have mended some fences, however they could still use some paint. I have seen a few friends become new parents, and others that are struggling for that dream. I have made new friends, and some that have brought love into my life. I am learning to let go of the little things more and more everyday. Allowing myself to fail, and pick myself back up and move forward. I am realized that there is something really sacred about waking up to a new day and knowing that it is fresh and new, to not allow the past problems to cloud it.

life does throw curveballs, but we just need to learn how to handle them. This we will constantly be learning. It is not something that will ever change or go away. Life is a journey, and each part of it is something we should cherish.