Loving who you are

I learned something last night from a person that I actually saw a lot of myself in. Beauty, is truly in who you are as a person, what you bring into this world. I am a beautiful person. I get in my own way by trying to bring myself down and think that I am not. I have such a spirit in me, and love for the people in my life. I am capable of anything. I am a loving, trustworthy person that will do anything for those that I care about. I know this through and through. I need to feel that I deserve the same from all people. I am on my path. I want to share my life with others that know how to laugh, love, smile through the bad times. I want to surround my world with goodness as much as possible.

I woke this am to music. I watched a movie that ever song had an emotional connection to what was going on. I feel that is how I am with music. I love lyrics, and I could listen to one song over and over again if I feel pulled to what is being said. It is a natural drug to me. It fills my soul and makes me smile from the inside out. Sometimes an amazing song can just make me sob, and that to is really healthy. Where would I be in this life without the people I love and the power of a melody, or a pen to paper. The power of a song to guide my steps.

I am thankful for new friends and old friends. I am unbelievably hopeful today of all that is in my future. I believe, and that give me all I need.

The sunshine and other thoughts in my mind

What a beautiful day it is out there. Of course I say this while staring out the glass window of my office. It was nice to not have to wear a jacket today and it always seems people are so much happier when the sun is shining.

Life is changing all around me. Everytime I see my nephew he is taller, smarter, and of course cuter. It is amazing how he had developed. He is probably one of the most tender boys I know. Recently when we were at the circus with him last week while sitting on my mothers lap he turned he face to her and smiled as he gentley touched her cheek. I definitely started tearing up. It is so loving, and to see him just stop to look at his nana that way. It also made me look at my mother differently. We have become so close these past few years and I am so thankful for that. However somehow Ruth Marie having Isaac changed us all inside. I feel closer to my sister and my entire family since we have been blessed with him. He puts hope in my heart when sometimes I don't have it. I can be having a bad day and talk to my sister on the phone and she has him say "Hi Auntie Tara" and it changes my mood instantly. He is our little angel. I look at him and can not imagine how much I will love my own child someday. The love I have to Isaac overflows.

We as a family are blessed. I only hope to someday know the joy of motherhood and to share that with an amazing man. It is all out there for me, within my reach. I know I am ready for it when it does finally get here.

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Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali

Because I have to say this

Old Friend,

I had been thinking about the email you sent in January. I wish I was heartless and could say that this does not still hurt me emmensely to read. That hearing you say the things that you did makes me angry. I have always been there for you, through your heartbreaks in life, been supportive when you had issues with your family etc. However in life no one is perfect, and we all can not be the friend you want 100% of the time. That is just how it goes.

For you to throw in the towel because I expressed anger and disappointment on things that were done is sad. I think in the long run something you will regret doing. I really believe that you made a HUGE mistake with the email you sent me. I was beyond hurt and if you truly wanted to end a friendship that lasted as long as ours, to email was really sad. I feel it made it seem like it was not a hard thing for you to do. That I was easy to discard.

I honestly in my heart would like to think that someday we will be in each others lives again, that the women I loved so dearly is in there somewhere, and realizes that throwing away the kind of friendship we had was a mistake, however I dont believe that is true right now.

I think about you a few times a week and still read your blog. I wish you nothing but the best in life, and will always miss the girl that I caused trouble with in my 20s and grew into a women with. That women I will always cherish and hold close to my heart.

~ Tara

Easter and saying goodbye

This weekend was bitter sweet for me. Saturday night my band played and it was also a going away party for my brother. He leaves on Friday to head to Arizona for school and I will miss him. I know he will only be gone for a little while, but I will miss him. He has never lived out of state, so this will be new to me. I am used to having my immediate family here. It is so strange to not have them all here now.

It was nice to surprose him. Overall it was a wonderful night. Then we spent Easter at my moms. She made a delicious Lasagna and a roast chicken. It was so good to spend time with the family. My nephew is getting so big and I just adore him.

Over all things are looking up lately. I feel refreshed and look forward to an amazing Spring and Summer.

Traffic Light Lyrics

Oh yes my friends it is now another installment of "I love these lyrics". I just downloaded on Monday The Ting Tings album and I am in L O V E.. love. So fun. But the lyrics to there song traffic light I adore. I think it is extremely clever and wish I had thought of it!

Traffic Light

don't you be a traffic light
don't you be a traffic light
with all things said
you turn to red
don't you be a traffic light

don't you be a round-a-bout
not another round-a-bout
we've come so far
yet back to the start
don't you be a round-a-bout

oh now baby don't miss read the signs
if you turn the key then things will turn out fine

lets not have a break down
not another breakdown
you're on your own a long way from home
lets not have a breakdown

don't miss read the signs
if you had just turned the key
then things would have turned out fine

you're pushing me, you're breaking
over taking me you're racing
first placing me not chasing me back home

don't let me down

Today

The best thing about this day was waking up to the sounds of birds chirping. Just when I can not take another moment of Winter, in walks spring with a smile and I feel renewed. Okay, so it is still really chilly, but feeling the warmth of the sun on my face yesterday was so wonderful and it brought the promise of the flowers and definitely made me just want to drive around in my car all day. I took the long way everywhere and did not rush. I guess you could say yesterday I was definitely a Sunday driver!

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“Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself”

Maya Angelou = Smart woman

So my friend Heather shared this with me today and I needed to post it. It made me smile. Sometimes people say things we need to hear, even though we know, seeing it written down or spoken tends to bring it back to the front of our minds again.

From Maya Angelou:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow only if you want it to be.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: weather, respect and lost luggage.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life . It is then you realize that no one can ever love and care for you more than they do. And that no one can ever replace them. I wish they were with me now!

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. So don't make the same mistakes again '

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back..'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel , especially your loved ones .'