Endless night

The summer sun was slipping slowly as the cool breeze ushered in to end the day.
The ocean always did sound so peaceful at night, sometimes it was hard to know if it was the sounds of the water crashing on the rocks or the beating of my heart that I could hear. I always found this to be the time of day when my thoughts were clearest. I wish I could bottle this moment and take it out on a day when the world is full of needless noise. The feeling of the sand under my feet, laughing to myself as it tickles my toes, the old sweatshirt that no matter how old it gets is always a comfort as the evening cools. It is a night like this that I wish time would stop and allow me to soak it in as long as my little heart desires.

*******************************
If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. ~Bern Williams

My thoughts

Today my thoughts lean towards earlier years and decisions I made. I realize 34 is still really young, but I am feeling my age today. I am seeing friends marry, and friends that have been married have children. It all brings to light how fast life is moving now. I have amazing people in my life, great friends, amazing family. Will I be a mother someday? Perhaps. Will I allow if I am not to define me? Never! I wont let status of what I have or have not define my future. I think my life is exactly as planned, and I look forward to what it brings along. I do sometimes allow myself to get sad and dwell, however that is truly only human and to not let that happen would make me a robot. I think I am close to finding peace in the fact that I can not plan out truly what will happen and that there is a thing called destiny that does guide us all. I will never stop wishing for things I do not have, but I guess that is what will make me appreciate it in the long run. Life is a gift and I need to enjoy every moment.

Summertime rolls in....

The summer is upon us, and this time of year always puts a new spring in my step. For some reason waking up to the sun and hearing the birds singing always makes you want to wake and tackle the day. It makes us remember the things we loved about summer as a kid. Despite the obvious, it meant 2 months off to run around town. Also it brought days at the beach, the sound of the ice cream truck, or the taste of soft serve at your favorite spot. It also meant for some of us the crush you had on the boy down the street, and the endless game of "does he like me too". The best thing for me about the summer was being able to spend time with my Nana and Grandad who lived downstairs from us. My nana had the most amazing imagination, and always had this twinkle in her eye. I believe she was an angel, there was a magic I felt when I was with her. She always knew how to put me at ease, she made me feel talented and beautiful. Nana always told me I was special and a creature made perfectly by God. When she passed it only took away the physical interaction. I truly feel everyday since then (almost 16 years) that she is with me. There are times I look to her for guidance still and I grasp a memory or I look at a picture of us and it brings me back to those days. I will still always remember playing the piano in the hallway to hear the door open and see her watching me. The love in her eyes and the joy in her smile as I played on. Summer is magical, and I look forward to having one of the best yet!

*******************************************
I only think of you.....Everytime my heart beats.