Blue Mood

I don't know where my head is this week. Lots of thoughts are running through my head. I feel kind of stuck in a strange funk. Could it be turning 35 this week that has me in a bit of a mood. I am sure that is part of it. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the past and decisions I have made. I am not having regrets, because I really do believe it is what has made me who I am today. I just feel myself drawn back to certain moments in my life, and people from my past. I am analyzing a lot of how things went and taking time to soul search and perhaps work on how I deal with things and mainly my emotions and reactions when dealing with things. I think we are always evolving who we are and who we want to be. I definitely have been looking into how I process things and also how I deal with certain situations. I am stubborn and that is something I admit fully, although I still have a hard time learning how to not be. I will hold back thoughts and feelings and not express how I feel until it hits a boiling point and that is not healthy. I always thought I was a good communicator, however perhaps we all think we are. I need to focus on making that better moving forward. I am lucky though, I have the ability to look above this funk and know that it will pass. I just have to power through this blue moment and know that I will be better when I come out of it.

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That's one of the peculiar things about bad moods - we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.
David D. Burns

Words

I want to write words. Words that make people think, smile, laugh. Words that engage people in conversations that they normally would not have had. Words that allow people to grow and see a side of themselves they never have before. Words that inspire and fill peoples hearts with joy. Words that allow people to cry happy tears. I don't want to engage in negative words, I do not want to hurt people with words, or use words to make them feel less then who they truly are. Words should teach us, lead us and bring us to a place of peace. I want to love the words that I put out into this world and hope that those words come back to me in love. Words are powerful and I want to use them in a positive way. I want words to heal me, teach me patience and allow me to be a better part of what makes this world turn.

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Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
~ Buddha

Take these

Take these beautiful memories
use them when days are dark and you feel like you can't breathe
Take this laughter
release it when you can't seem to find yours

Remember the music
When the silence in your heart is deafening
Believe in tomorrow
When today is just to much to bare

Listen to the wind
It is a reminder that everything will pass someday

~ TF

Perfection

"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.

Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."

— Bob Marley

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I saw this on another blog I follow and I found it so utterly true and even though it is something that logically makes sense and is obvious it is nice to read as a reminder. I am not in love right now, nor am even I close to being in love, but I want to always remember when I do find a beautiful soul to give my love to that there is no perfect person. I like to say that I want to find a man that finds perfection in my imperfections. There is something to what my Nana always told me when she spoke of unconditional love and that in that lies the secret to being able to be with someone and give yourself completely. I don't want to change the man I love someday, I want to celebrate our differences and adore each other in spite of the things that are not always so great. Isn't there something to be said for being with someone that makes you want to be better, but loves you right where you are?