Realizing you are a grown up

There are so many moments when I truly still feel like a teenager and then reality hits.. hard.. and this voice echos in my brain "T---, you are 31 years old". That is when I cry like a baby. Moments when I realize I am grown up happen at least once a month when I write my rent check, or pay my bills. It is really funny, because today I had one of those moments when I really thought about life and where I have come from. Did I ever when I was younger think about living in an apt alone, or for instance those days when I dreamed of my wedding and thought it would be when I was 25 and by my age now I would have 2.5 kids and a white pickets fence, instead I have 2 cats and an apartment about a movie theater. *laugh* I am not complaining at all just merely thinking back to those days. The dreams we had as children still remain in our make up now that we are adults. I still dream of being that rock star that takes the stage to thousands of screaming fans, and my reality is I sing with a band a bar to about 30 people.. some my hopelessly devoted friends! :) To tell you the truth, it still gives me that rock star feeling. I have come to realize that as children we used to dream big, crazy dreams, and that when you look at your life now, those were magical times, however sometimes the simpler things still fill us with that same joy and give us that same feeling. I know that singing in the shower, or at my local bar, still makes me feel amazing, and fills me with joy. I also know that same joy will be felt when I sing a lullaby to my future child. I guess my point to all this babbling is that dreams no matter how big or how small, being a child or an adult still feed our souls. The day we stop dreaming would be very sad. So regardless of how silly you may feel, jump on the swing at a park, go play in the rain, dream the dreams that started in the sandbox, and never let the inner child die.
bills.. will come and go.. life will throw us many different obstacles.. but through it all there is that kid inside that just really wants to eat candy til you puck and ride your bike in the parking lot until your mom yells at you to come in.

So today.. I realize I am grown up only to be reminded by the girl who used to climb trees across the street or buy the ring pops down at the package store that she is still there.. knocking ever so lightly... "psstt.. grownup smownup"