The Great Wall

Ah yes, the great wall. The wall that I think is not there til, BAM something happens in my life and there it is again.. how does that happen, and why does it happen?

I find that I am in my eyes an extremely open person, I wear my heart on my sleeve, perhaps too much at times. However the moment I am in a situation that allows that heart to be vulnerable, i.e. dating someone I am crazy about, or in a situation where I can be rejected, be it professionally or in my creative life, this hideous wall builds back up. The wall that keeps me from achieving the greatness I so rightfully deserve. It prevents me from forging ahead and making the most of the talents, the love and all the other amazing things that I can offer this world.

The sad thing is that in the end it merely pushes back all the personal work I have done within myself.

Why do we have these walls? I analyze mine to death, but to what means. Perhaps for me it is not understanding fully that I deserve everything in this life. To find a love, a best friend to share this fantastic journey with. To be successful and have my voice heard in as many places as possible. To embrace and not run away from failure. It is a part of life. We are a product of not only our success in life, but of our failures as well. These all what makes us truly unique and amazing individuals.

Perhaps I need to view this wall as not something in the way, but as a reminder of my weakness, something to look at and not allow to affect me. Have that wall be a source of strength reminding me of pain that was in the past, and that the wall is what separates me from that pain, and allows me to move forward, instead of seeing it as an obstacle or something to hide behind.

The picture I attached symbolizes that in a way. I need to break through that wall, and allow others to come through as well. This journey, this path we are on is one that will lead to many discoveries, but for me I want to embrace it all.

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."
~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)