The process of healing

Sometimes things just don't work. Now comes the process of healing. I truly did not expect to be feeling this good and this hopeful, but it seems life had other plans for me. This has all been a blessing to me. I am hopeful that the direction of my life is where it should be. Taking chances in life is not a bad thing, I have no regrets. I look at every moment in my life as a precious opportunity to learn more about who I am and what I am looking for in life. It is growth that is needed, even though not always welcomed. I said to someone the other day that you need the rain to truly enjoy the sunshine. I believe that will all of my heart. It is these moments in my life that I find open my eyes to so many other things I may not have seen. This journey I have been on has been a gift and I will learn from it, not hold it as a negative memory in my heart, but as a moment of my life that needed to happen.

Long sigh and a deep breath

It has been a long and not so fun few days for me. There are things going on, in my life and in my mind, and mostly in my heart that have me sad, confused, hopeful, scared and a whole myriad of other emotions. It has my mind playing out many different scenarios and trying to decide what is the best path to take. It is also during these times in my life that I dream crazy dreams, about packing it all up and moving to a small village in Italy (lets keep in mind I don't even speak Italian), or working on a cruise ship, singing in one of there over the top corny shows while men in funny Hawaiian shirts dances around with his wife. It makes me go back over the past 10/20 years and think about all the decisions that I have made. It has me closing my eyes so tight and hoping that if I click my heels I can be back in my Nana's living room, writing poetry and talking about life. What would she say to me right now if she was here, what would her advice be. Would she tell me what to do or simply speak some words of wisdom that would not make sense to me at the time but would be exactly what I needed to hear when I look back. I think there will always be moments in my life where I wish I had the ruby slippers that magically brought be home. Home - a funny word, it is one that I hope someday means what it did to me back then.

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"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned" Maya Angelou

Small reminders

I was riding home on the MBTA Sunday morning from a Saturday bachelorette bash for my soon to be sister-in-law and due to a situation on the train had to change cars. I was tired and found the whole thing irritating after a semi sleepless night. However a few stops later when the gentlemen that was seated directly across from me got up, I noticed there was a sticker on the seat. Upon further inspection I noticed that the sticker said "Fall in love all over again". Wow, such a simple statement, but I think I needed to hear that. I was tired, cranky, had a long night and had been dealing with some thoughts going around and around in my head. Seeing that sticker and knowing that someone purposely put it there made me stop and really think about some things. What a simple phrase yet it carried such an amazing message. I thought there must have been a reason I had to move cars and that I sat in that seat. I think we all need a reminder from time to time to fall in love all over again. Yesterday was mine.

Its official!

I dislike corned beef. I was clear that I did not like cabbage boiled. I do however like a fresh homemade coleslaw or a nice Kimchi, but a boiled dinner is just not for this Irish girl. I do get an A for effort here as I did promise D I would try it again. My mother finds it hysterical since apparently as a child I would eat it all the time. Anyway, I will not be trying that again ever. At 34 I am pretty sure I am not going to ever enjoy it. Luckily my mother defrosted a burger. So I enjoyed my lovely burger with potatoes and carrots! Surprisingly they went very well together! Of course I did have a lovely Guinness as well! MMMmmm it was very tasty. So next year I will stick to foods I like, if D wants a boiled dinner we are going out, I know I could not stomach the smell of cabbage boiling. The thought of it actually turns my tummy right now. I hope everyone had a wonderful Saint Patrick's day.

Saint Paddy's Day

May the good earth be soft under you
when you rest upon it,
and may it rest easy over you when,
at the last, you lay out under it,
And may it rest so lightly over you
that your soul may be out
from under it quickly,
and up, and off,
And be on its way to God.