Funk

I hate this feeling I have had the past few days. I was in a car accident, and I am okay, but I had the moment where your life flashes before you and I was extremely shaken up. It is still affecting me two days later. I am indeed in a classic funk. I have not been in one like this for awhile. I had that moment last night when I was standing in my apartment and my cat Ella was relaxing on the ledge by the window, it was extremely still and quiet and I felt alone. I have not felt that way in a long time, but last night it hit really hard. I realized that I was 33 and alone, and normally, I am completely okay with that. However last night, I cried, tears I have not cried in a long time. Tears of loss, of regret, of past pain. I cried for the things I feared I would never have, like someone to share my life with or the laughter of my own children filling a house. I let myself have that moment, because sometimes we just need to cry, we need to let it all out. I am in a funk, and I need to recognize it and allow myself to process it and work through it all. I need to realize that this happens, we have moments when everything hits us harder then it normally would and it is okay to be that way. I will be okay, I realize under all of this the blessings I do have and that is enough to get me through.