So besides being sick, and dealing with all of that. I woke up today to see that my checking account had fraudulent activity, to the sound of over 900 dollars. I was beside myself, called my bank, and since the activity is still pending they can do nothing til Monday at midnight when it does or doesnt clear. So needless to say, I had to call my management company to hold my rent check as it would bounce, and I have to patiently wait to see what happens.
I would think that my bank would see two huge deductions with my checkcard and notify me. It was a good thing I was going on line to do some banking.
Today has not been a good day and I really feel like crawling up in a ball and going back to bed.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Unanswered questions and unfinished business
It is true that sometimes things in life can come full circle. I dont like closing a door when I am not sure I am ready to. I have found that doors left slightly ajar can bring on new thoughts when reopened. I think that I learn something amazing about myself everyday with this whole new being an adult thing *laugh*. I have learned to always be authentic with how I feel and to be completely honest even when it is hard. Sometimes telling someone how you feel, how it really is in your mind and heart, is hard. However, the outcome, good or bad, is not what matters, it is having the courage to be honest with yourself and the people that you care for in life.
Endings and beginnings happen everyday, it is how we handle it all that makes us stronger people. Trust those that we know we can trust and let them see the real you. I would rather a lifetime with people who know me deeply and respect me, then live a life filled with trying to be someone different for everyone in my life.
I am truly lucky to know so many wonderful people. It amazes me the love that I have in my life. I have so much more love to give too, and that is what makes me optomistic everyday. Love is amazing, and the different kinds we have for the different people in our lives is even more then we can sometimes imagine.
Be aware to always say what you want and express yourself to people. Trust that those you care about will hold those feelings close to their heart and not betray it. Sometimes hearing an honest and sincere word from a friend or family member can really light up your day.
Endings and beginnings happen everyday, it is how we handle it all that makes us stronger people. Trust those that we know we can trust and let them see the real you. I would rather a lifetime with people who know me deeply and respect me, then live a life filled with trying to be someone different for everyone in my life.
I am truly lucky to know so many wonderful people. It amazes me the love that I have in my life. I have so much more love to give too, and that is what makes me optomistic everyday. Love is amazing, and the different kinds we have for the different people in our lives is even more then we can sometimes imagine.
Be aware to always say what you want and express yourself to people. Trust that those you care about will hold those feelings close to their heart and not betray it. Sometimes hearing an honest and sincere word from a friend or family member can really light up your day.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The right one
A good friend of mine said something the other day that I found so simple, yet so profound at this point in my life. He said he is not sure if there is a right one, just the one that makes you feel right.
For me that resonates so loudly. I think in life I have been blinded by Disney Princes and the idea of happily every after follows me around like a black cloud. Instead of always thinking about how it should be, perhaps I need to realize maybe my ideal of what it should be is not really what would make me happy.
Taking the time lately to work on my emotional and physical health has opened my eyes to patterns that I have created. Things that I think in my head that are not always right or lead to the direction I should go.
I am not saying I want to get rid of the hopeless romantic that lives inside of me. The girl that loves flowers and doors being opened will always be there. I just realize that there are possibly some things I overlook that are more core. The inside of who a person is, the way they feel about life, parenting, and yes, even politics. That the flowers die, and sometimes they will not open the door for you, however at the end of the day, can you sit on the couch and talk about anything. I think being someones best friend is key. We always say friends first, but sometimes can get lost in the moment, and the excitement of it all.
I am not a pro by any means when it comes to relationship. I think that I am getting better though about knowing what I want and mostly what I need. I think my decisions are clearer, even if they are not always the easy ones. I sometimes feel they are for the best. I am learning to stick to my choices if I feel that they are right. Sometimes I will be proven wrong and that is okay, however I need to do the best thing at the moment for me.
For me that resonates so loudly. I think in life I have been blinded by Disney Princes and the idea of happily every after follows me around like a black cloud. Instead of always thinking about how it should be, perhaps I need to realize maybe my ideal of what it should be is not really what would make me happy.
Taking the time lately to work on my emotional and physical health has opened my eyes to patterns that I have created. Things that I think in my head that are not always right or lead to the direction I should go.
I am not saying I want to get rid of the hopeless romantic that lives inside of me. The girl that loves flowers and doors being opened will always be there. I just realize that there are possibly some things I overlook that are more core. The inside of who a person is, the way they feel about life, parenting, and yes, even politics. That the flowers die, and sometimes they will not open the door for you, however at the end of the day, can you sit on the couch and talk about anything. I think being someones best friend is key. We always say friends first, but sometimes can get lost in the moment, and the excitement of it all.
I am not a pro by any means when it comes to relationship. I think that I am getting better though about knowing what I want and mostly what I need. I think my decisions are clearer, even if they are not always the easy ones. I sometimes feel they are for the best. I am learning to stick to my choices if I feel that they are right. Sometimes I will be proven wrong and that is okay, however I need to do the best thing at the moment for me.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Stand
Lyrics time. Today on the train, this song came on my ipod and the words just resonated for me right now. It is all about being strong and standing up. Sometimes life pushes us around, but it is then that we find how strong we are.
Stand: Rascal Flatts
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you’ll be alright
You’ll be alright
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Yeah then you stand.
Bridge:
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Stand: Rascal Flatts
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you’ll be alright
You’ll be alright
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Yeah then you stand.
Bridge:
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh
Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday
A very cold start to this day. I wonder how I survived in Massachusetts so long with this kind of weather. I guess it is a love affair that can not be explained.
I had an early band practice and thinking I might take a nap before family dinner at my moms. I get to see my nephew and it is exatly what I need today. He always makes me smile and will definitely bring some warmth and sunshine to this day.
Tomorrow it is back to the grind and another long work week. I can not really complain about that as I am lucky to have a job in this economy as so many have been laid off.
Anyway, I dont have much to say today, which is definitely a new thing for me. However sometimes silence says alot. Not sure what that is *laugh*.
Be good my friends
I had an early band practice and thinking I might take a nap before family dinner at my moms. I get to see my nephew and it is exatly what I need today. He always makes me smile and will definitely bring some warmth and sunshine to this day.
Tomorrow it is back to the grind and another long work week. I can not really complain about that as I am lucky to have a job in this economy as so many have been laid off.
Anyway, I dont have much to say today, which is definitely a new thing for me. However sometimes silence says alot. Not sure what that is *laugh*.
Be good my friends
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