Waiting

Waiting. It seems we are always looking forward waiting for something. I know some people that are always looking for the next thing in there life. They can not enjoy the simplicity of the moment they are in. I do fall prey to that as well from time to time. The next job, the right person to marry, the time to have kids, the house they will own someday, the lottery they will win.. etc. I try to remind myself everyday to enjoy the journey. I probably blog about this more then anything. I guess it is for me an exercise that keeps it fresh in my mind. This life we are given is the only one we have, we need to remember that each moment be it taking the train to work, spending time with family or even when you are alone are all times we need to be in the moment.

I found myself in a great mood on Monday. I was smiling at the silliest thing. Songs on my ipod seemed to sound different even though I probably had heard them hundreds of times before. I seemed more aware of my life and my surroundings. I am sure it was because I had one of the nicest weekends I have had in a while. I think taking care of myself physically has made me more aware of being genuinely happy with my life. I am where I am for a reason. I believe in fate and to some extent a destiny. I believe with my whole heart that the people and places that have been on this journey have served a very valid purpose.

I believe more then ever that there is a God that really guides my steps. I know I am not the most religious person, but lately I have seen little signs that I am being protected. My heart feels so full lately. I noticed it when I was with my nephew and got teary eyed thinking about how much joy that little guy brings to my life. How much of a blessing he is to this family. I am learning to appreciate my family in a way that I haven't in a long time. I think I am learning a forgiveness for my father for not being there in many ways and it is bringing such healing and peace into my life.

I don't know why there is this sense of peace with me right now, however I know I am really thankful for it.