Time goes by fast

I know it had been a month since my last blog. I guess time just goes by so fast and there are times I just really do not know what to write on here. I am going through what I think is a great stage. It is a stage that comes with lots of different emotions, which equal some sad days, but overall I am happy, and content and finally getting that working on ME is my number one priority. Learning to fully accept the person I am and knowing that those that are in my life love who I am, even with my quirks although it is not as easy as I thought it would be. It has become my daily goal to feel good about the person I am and what I offer to the world around me. I am learning to focus on what I truly need and not so much what I want. Taking the time to appreciate where I am and know that perhaps the things I have been fighting so badly to have keep me from truly recognizing all the things that I do have. We all hear the cliches that are out there on when you are not looking for something is when it happens. Well I have to agree with that one, because I am always looking and wondering and it keeps me from really embracing the now. The power of my life as it is today. What keeps me from moving forward with true acceptance of the women I have become? These are all daily questions and I am in a mode of self renewal and some really good soul searching. I am trying to learn to be more open, to discover what is out there that I may have overlooked and to just for once ask me what I want in my heart, what will make me feel fully present and aware in my life. I am loving this outlook and it has already made me look at certain things with a new pair of eyes. More to come as I move forward on this path.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

This little guy brings me back to reality and reminds me that I am blessed to have such an amazing, caring and sweet Nephew. I love this little guy with all of my heart! Sometimes I feel like it is going to burst it is so full!

Life moves so quickly sometimes. I look around and friends get married, have children, then you are at there children's first birthday parties. I don't think it really hit me how fast things were moving until my best friend got pregnant, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks when she gave birth to them a few weeks ago. She had twins, and they were early (were not due until late September), so they were little peanuts and they have had to be in the NICU to get the proper care they need. I went to visit them last Sunday and it was so amazing to see how those tiny little bodies curled up on there mom and dads chests. She was blessed with a boy and a girl, so in essence she has the perfect little family. Ronan Kye and Adaira Skye were born on August 16th and Heather and Matt's worlds changed forever. It is amazing to me how two precious babies can completely change your life. To see them with there babies is heartwarming and to hear Matt talking to his daughter is such a beautiful thing. I look at Heather in such a new light. She is a mom now, her priorities completely changed. I miss her a bit right now, I am not going to lie, we can't have our phone conversations every few days like we did before because she is dedicated almost every moment to what is going on with the babies. I am looking forward to heading up there next Friday to stay over and spend sometime with her and the twins. It will be great for her and I to have some time to connect.

I am also not going to say there is not a big part of me that feels left out a tad as I am not anywhere near being a mother myself. However if I look at this in a positive way, I have lots of time to practice and learn from those around me. I sit back and wonder what it will be like someday when I have a child of my own, how I am going to be pregnant and what bringing life into this world will be like. I can only imagine from all those that I have seen that is it something there are not words for.

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"The soul is healed by being with children."

Oh Baby!

My best friend is currently in labor with her first children. She is having twins and I am beside myself giddy and nervous etc. I cannot wait to meet those precious little ones. Of course I will have to wait at least until the weekend as they brought her all the way to Portland, Maine as both hospitals closer to her did not have room in the NICU. So that really stinks, but it is probably best that I give it to the weekend, I am sure it will be nuts for a bit there. But can I just say YAY BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been awhile

Yes, I know it had been awhile since I have blogged. It is funny, I find that I have a lot to say but when I sit in front of this screen sometimes I don't know where to start, and then I stare blankly at the screen, type a few sentences and then delete what I just wrote. It seems that I get writers block because all of the thoughts in my head get all jumbled together and I am not sure what I want to talk about. I know my thoughts jumbled? CRAZY huh! :)

Lately I have been feeling lots of different emotions. Mostly I do feel blessed to have a job that I truly enjoy and to be surrounded by great friends and family. I am not going to lie and say there isn't something missing. I do feel a void of companionship and the longing to share my life with someone. Although it has changed this past few months where I do appreciate being single. It allows me time to become more self aware. I feel I am learning a lot about who I am lately. It is not all good as I am not perfect, but it all helps me to define better who I am and what I need in my life. I know that the outcome of taking the time I need and not just jumping into a relationship because I am lonely is a good thing. I am looking for more this time around. I just want to keep enjoying each day as it comes and being open to what will be. I want to always see my cup as half full and not always be wanting for what I do not have. It will all come in good time and when it is supposed to. I have a full and amazing life, and I am beyond thankful!


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“Eventually all the pieces fall into place….until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.”