Memorial Day, and life etc..

Why hello people!

I know it has been awhile, and I have not blogged. Could it be that I finally had nothing to say? Nope, that is definitely not the case, ask anyone that knows me I can TALK. ;)

So what is going on with me lately. I am working hard, or hardly working (depending on who you ask).

On a really fun note, I signed up for an improv comedy workshop with the Boston Center for Adult Education and had my first class on Wednesday night. I must say that it was SO much fun. I was a tad nervous because I signed up alone and was feeling a bit shy. However the group that I am with are all great. There is one lonely man, although I am sure he is not complaining, and the women in the class are so great. I have done allot of the ice breaker type games that we did there before in musical theater, and it was fun after a day of work to really just let loose. I am looking forward to the next two classes. I think if I like it I might look into taking classes that are offered by the Improv Asylum.

This past memorial day weekend was so wonderful. It started off with a lovely dinner on Friday night at the Horseshoe Pub & Restaurant in Hudson where my bands drummer Paul bartends. I met up with my friend Jeanne and her friend Sara-Jane. Saturday I was up at 5:30AM to head off to Beckett, Ma. The camp that I attended all through high school and staffed for many years after that was having its staff retreat, and because it is the 25 year the camp has been around, they invited all the old staff back. It was great, got to see lots of people, and the married couples with the kids. Where does the time go. The weather was amazing, and it was just a great place that brings back wonderful and sentimental feelings. My sister, mother and nephew Isaac attended as well and it was great to spend more time with them. Sunday AM I left there at 11:30 to head to Salem NH to my friend Matt and Heathers annual BBQ. Next year we will all be in Bar Harbor Maine to celebrate there wedding! Again, amazing weather and them living on Canobie Lake was just the icing on the cake. Monday I just tried to catch up from the week and then capped it off with drinks at the Marina with my friend Tracy. Overall it was very enjoyable.

Where is my state of mind lately. I am still trying to find it *laugh* Apparently the flight there is sold out in coach and I can not afford the first class seats. So I think I will just fly stand by and hope for the best! :)

As for some long term goals I am really going to start investing in my health, and change my eating routine, as well as finally lose the 30 pounds I want to drop and get to a place where I am happy with my body. I think I talk allot about the things I want to do and stall when it comes to putting them into action. It is time to change that pattern for good.

Other then that.. not much has been going on. :)

Have you ever had that "really bad judgement" feeling

If so, PLEASE sell me or tell me about the product that you can use to stomp it out!

Rustic Kitchen, pizza and shoes oh my!

We had a really wet weekend, however I did not let that ruin my plans.

Friday night I took my mother out to the Rustic Kitchen for dinner, we had a really wonderful time. However we always do when we go out, it was nice to have some time together and I always cherish that with her.

Saturday I woke up supermotivated, So I cleaned my apt. I mean, I did the REAL clean, I swept and washed the floors, and all then went and did my laundry and got it all put away.

Sunday consisted of going out to Breakfast, and then I met up with my Sister and brother-in-law, mother and Nephew Isaac. We were going shoe shopping for Isaac since he just started walking. It was so much fun. It is amazing to see how big he has gotten. I will post video as soon as I figure out how to. :) That was really nice, and when I got home and realized there was nothing to do and nothing on TV, I ended up going downstairs to watch "Made of honor". It is nice living about a movie theater. So all in all a nice evening, and to bed at a reasonable time.

It is great to have a relaxing weekend!

But man.. these things called Mondays sure do come around often.

The Great Wall

Ah yes, the great wall. The wall that I think is not there til, BAM something happens in my life and there it is again.. how does that happen, and why does it happen?

I find that I am in my eyes an extremely open person, I wear my heart on my sleeve, perhaps too much at times. However the moment I am in a situation that allows that heart to be vulnerable, i.e. dating someone I am crazy about, or in a situation where I can be rejected, be it professionally or in my creative life, this hideous wall builds back up. The wall that keeps me from achieving the greatness I so rightfully deserve. It prevents me from forging ahead and making the most of the talents, the love and all the other amazing things that I can offer this world.

The sad thing is that in the end it merely pushes back all the personal work I have done within myself.

Why do we have these walls? I analyze mine to death, but to what means. Perhaps for me it is not understanding fully that I deserve everything in this life. To find a love, a best friend to share this fantastic journey with. To be successful and have my voice heard in as many places as possible. To embrace and not run away from failure. It is a part of life. We are a product of not only our success in life, but of our failures as well. These all what makes us truly unique and amazing individuals.

Perhaps I need to view this wall as not something in the way, but as a reminder of my weakness, something to look at and not allow to affect me. Have that wall be a source of strength reminding me of pain that was in the past, and that the wall is what separates me from that pain, and allows me to move forward, instead of seeing it as an obstacle or something to hide behind.

The picture I attached symbolizes that in a way. I need to break through that wall, and allow others to come through as well. This journey, this path we are on is one that will lead to many discoveries, but for me I want to embrace it all.

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."
~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Fairytale

Okay so I told you from time to time I would add lyrics. Well I love Sara Bareilles right now, and I was listening on the train this AM, and the lyrics to the song Fairytale made me laugh. It is a song I should listen to more! :) Enjoy!

"Fairytale"

Cinderella's on her bedroom floor

She's got aCrush on the guy at the liquor store

Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore

And she forgets why she came here

Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood For shame

she saysNone for you dear prince, I'm tired today

I'd rather sleep my whole life away

than have you keep me from dreaming

[Chorus:]

'cause I don't care for your fairytales

You're so worried about the maiden though you know

She's only waiting on the next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again cause

What else can you doWith seven itty-bitty men?

Sends them to bed and calls up a friend

Says will you meet me at midnight?

The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says

Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair

I'll have to find another tower somewhere

and keep away from the windows

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom

Man made up a story said that I should believe him

Go and tell your white knight

that he's handsome in hindsight

But I don't want the next best thing

So I sing and hold my head down

and I break these walls round me

Can't take no more of your fairytale love

I don't care I don't care

Worry bout the maiden though you know

She's only waiting spent the whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience and a dumb

Appreciation

But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending

Cause I don't want the next best thing

No no I don't want the next best thing