The process of healing

Sometimes things just don't work. Now comes the process of healing. I truly did not expect to be feeling this good and this hopeful, but it seems life had other plans for me. This has all been a blessing to me. I am hopeful that the direction of my life is where it should be. Taking chances in life is not a bad thing, I have no regrets. I look at every moment in my life as a precious opportunity to learn more about who I am and what I am looking for in life. It is growth that is needed, even though not always welcomed. I said to someone the other day that you need the rain to truly enjoy the sunshine. I believe that will all of my heart. It is these moments in my life that I find open my eyes to so many other things I may not have seen. This journey I have been on has been a gift and I will learn from it, not hold it as a negative memory in my heart, but as a moment of my life that needed to happen.

Long sigh and a deep breath

It has been a long and not so fun few days for me. There are things going on, in my life and in my mind, and mostly in my heart that have me sad, confused, hopeful, scared and a whole myriad of other emotions. It has my mind playing out many different scenarios and trying to decide what is the best path to take. It is also during these times in my life that I dream crazy dreams, about packing it all up and moving to a small village in Italy (lets keep in mind I don't even speak Italian), or working on a cruise ship, singing in one of there over the top corny shows while men in funny Hawaiian shirts dances around with his wife. It makes me go back over the past 10/20 years and think about all the decisions that I have made. It has me closing my eyes so tight and hoping that if I click my heels I can be back in my Nana's living room, writing poetry and talking about life. What would she say to me right now if she was here, what would her advice be. Would she tell me what to do or simply speak some words of wisdom that would not make sense to me at the time but would be exactly what I needed to hear when I look back. I think there will always be moments in my life where I wish I had the ruby slippers that magically brought be home. Home - a funny word, it is one that I hope someday means what it did to me back then.

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"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned" Maya Angelou